The Member for Western Plains and Australia’s leading expert on nutrition and internet dating, Ron Slutty has slammed the “hurtful and humiliating” comments made about him by professional feminist Ms Roxie Fustaigne.
Mr Slutty was supposed to be launching his autobiography Slim, My Chances of Getting a Date With a Woman at the Grand Hotel in Liebig Street this week.
However the launch was overshadowed by comments made by Ms Fustaigne in a press release spruiking her weekly podcast on Western Plains Wireless. In the release Ms Fustaigne described Mr Slutty as a fat Scottish bastard who liked a drink and that a lot of the time she wondered what the hell he was saying.
Ms Fustaigne says she now accepts that her choice of words was inappropriate and she recognises that Mr Slutty is of course Irish.

Professor Fustaigne has apologised unreservedly: I know how hurtful it is to be mistaken for a thin Scotsman she said.

By Editor in Chief, John Fustaigne
In my long career as a journalist reporting from some of Western Plains most dangerous bars, I have seen many acts intended simply to provoke a reaction in others. However even I was shocked by the scenes we witnessed on Liebig Street last Saturday.
What we saw was in excess of 50 young men running through crowds, taunting bystanders, provoking others, getting in people’s faces and recording everything that the Police were doing and saying on their latest model iphones.
Now call me old-fashioned if you will, but what kind of sick demented bastard takes his mobile phone to a violent brawl?
Back in my day we used to carry filo-faxes to taunt and provoke people and I for one [contd on folio 93]

The distinctive bulge of the 7″ Finchley: guaranteed to provoke a reaction