Western Plains Police have offered counselling services to local officers traumatised by the failure of their counterparts in New York to shoot a man of colour who allegedly yelled ‘Shoot me!’ after mowing down dozens of pedestrians in Times Square.
‘This is tragedy’, said a police spokesperson. ‘You wait years for some cunt requiring police assistance to come along and then this happens. I don’t know why they even bother giving us guns sometimes’, he said.
Investigators are examining links between events in New York and an incident in Western Plains only 10 days ago when an Aboriginal man who police allege had beaten himself up before they got there, died after being tasered. However the Mayor of Western Plains Mario Fustaigne has said there is no similarity between them. ‘I can reassure the public that at this stage there is not the slightest indication that the man in New York had stolen a packet of crisps from the newsagents’, he said.