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Anzac Day, Unfortunately

It’s ANZAC Day here in Western Plains unfortunately and our most famous son, currently residing in the old dart as a guest of Her Majesty, has asked us to publish his latest apology for a poem.

Tie me kangaroo down, sport
‘N’ tie me extra leg down
It’s got a mind of its own, sport
So tie me extra leg down.

Touch me peg in the pool, girl
Touch me peg in the pool
If you want a cheap thrill, girl
Touch me peg in the pool.

‘N’ hold me cockatoo still, Til
Hold me cockatoo still
And don’t go telling Old Bill, Til
But hold me cockatoo still.

‘N’ now I’m up for assault, mate
Now I’m up for assault
I know it’s all me own fault, mate
But now I’m up for assault.

So ring me barrister up, Pup
Ring me barrister up
It’s time for me to own up, Pup
So ring me barrister up.

I ain’t got an excuse, Bruce
I ain’t got an excuse
I must have a screw loose, Bruce
Cos I ain’t got an excuse.

So lock me up for a stretch, Judge
Lock me up for a stretch
I ain’t got any regrets, Judge
So lock me up for a stretch.

‘N’ take me MBE back, Jack
Take me MBE back
It’s somewhere in the Outback, Mac
But take me MBE back.

Defame me name till I’m dead, Fred
Defame me name till I’m dead
Dig out all me old discs, Fred
And hide them out in the shed.

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Australian Royalty in happier times

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