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Right of Reply

The President of Western Plains Caledonian Society and owner of the southern hemisphere’s biggest collection of shortbread tins, Crabbit McScunner, has taken exception to Shug McDuddy’s misrepresentation of Scottish culture, his nihilistic weltanshaung and his feckin bad language.

Shug McDuddy is ane Scottish bard
Wha writes in guid braid lallans
But gin he wants the richt Scots word
He jist makes up some new anes.

He has ane replete vocablary
In baith Engerlish an Scots.
Some words are in the dictionry
But a lot of them is not.

He is the greatest poet o his day
Al least that’s whit he tells us:
“Ah’ve cairyet on Burns’ legacy
In couplets, rhymes and letturs”.

Oh he is sic an orra cratur
Full o anger, rage an vim.
Dud by name, an dud by natur
Or is that a pseudonym?

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