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Middel East etc Much Nicer Now

by Jeremy Fustaigne (age 37 and a half)

This week our teecher axed us to rite about the success of western military intervention in the Middel East and so on and so forth. One such is Libya which is now a very much more nicer place to drill for oil following the overthrow of military strongman, Colonel Muammar Gadaffi who selfishly wanted to keep all that oil for his own people. His place has been took by a completely different military strongman called General Khalifa Haftar. But Libyans love him and have taken him to their hearts cos he has restored the Libyan oilfields to their rightful owners, ie the Italians. And the country is now so free that in many parts of the country there are several different democratically elected governments for people to choose from. Another such is Iraq which is now a very much nicer place to drill for oil following the overthrow of military strongman, Saddam Hussein who selfishly wanted to keep all that oil for his own people. His place has been took by several thousand military strongmen, according to the wages bill. Unfortunately you can’t get to meet them as they is all sick of the war and has taken indefinite leave (with pay). The rest of the Iraqi army is currently besieging Mosul supported by an irregular militia, which is ‘a good thing’. It is being supported by US airstrikes, which is also ‘a good thing’. But the defenders is using the civilian population as human shields which is ‘a bad thing’. Meanwhile, in another place not very far away, the Syrian army is besieging Aleppo supported by an irregular militia, but that is‘a bad thing’. It is being supported by Russian airstrikes, which is also ‘a bad thing’. And the defenders is using the civilian population as human shields, which is not necessarily such a bad thing is it really, when you think about it? In conclusion, everything has gone about as well as could have been expected.

The Western Herald’s normal foreign affairs reporting staff is expected to return to work a week next Tuesday (hangover permitting).

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