Home » Humor » Fawkes Confession Obtained by Torture: ‘He Was Stitched Up by the Privvy Councillors’ Says New Report

Fawkes Confession Obtained by Torture: ‘He Was Stitched Up by the Privvy Councillors’ Says New Report

Guy Fawkes was the victim of an elaborate conspiracy to discredit recusants, disgruntled reactionaries, free thinkers, war veterans, people who like to dress up in big hats and capes and god fearing patriots everywhere according to a new report.
The astonishing claims have been made by Western Plains’ most famous antiquarian and man wearing a cape, John Fawkstaigne.
According to the official version, Fawkes was caught red-handed with 36 barrels of gunpowder and a box of swan vestas underneath the English Houses of Parliament in November 1605. However Fawkstaigne claims this was just a little too convenient and that no evidence was produced at the subsequent trial to suggest that Fawkes was other than the victim of a gigantic global conspiracy by Trotskyites, the World Bank, Monsanto, the Lords Commissioner, George Soros and FIFA.
Fawkstaigne draws parallels with the situation prevailing in the UK today where he claims that things are far from perfect, but nothing that a feckin big explosion wouldn’t fix and [read more…]

 

 

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