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Life is a Minestrone (modern translation)

Fustaigne Publishing is pleased to announce the launch of its brand new translation service for seventies and eighties pop songs that you never quite understood when you were young and naïve, but you used to sing along to anyway. There is a small fee for the service, but as a special introductory offer, here is a very free translation of ‘Life is a Minestrone’ by 10CC.

I’m dancing on the White House lawn (I’m transgender, but not by choice, that completely misses the point)
Sipping tea by the Taj Mahal at dawn (My partner is from the Indian sub-continent)
Hanging round the Gardens of Babylon (And we frequent a club that welcomes LGBT couples)
Minnie Mouse has got it all sewn up (Our friend, Mickey, used to be a woman)
She gets more fan mail than the Pope (And now ironically she is a lot more popular than she used to be)
She takes the mickey out of all my phobias (She laughs contemptuously when I pluck up the courage to ask her for sex)
Like signing cheques to ward off double pneumonia (Without offering to pay for it)

Life is a minestrone (Life is like a bowl of soup with strange things floating in it)
Served up with parmesan cheese (It stinks)
Death is a cold lasagne (And when you die)
Suspended in deep freeze (They take you to the morgue)

I’m leaning on the Tower of Pisa (I’m totally dependent on recreational drugs and pizza)
Had an eyeful of the tower in France (Had a vial of stuff that got me very high)
I’m hanging round the Gardens of Madison (Another club that welcomes LGBT people)
And the seat of learning (I was at university when I first realised I was LGBT)
And the flush of success (Then I started hanging around public toilets)
Relieves a constipated mind (Providing executive relief to priests and such like)
I’m like a gourmet in a skid row diner (They used to call me ‘all you can eat al’)
A fitting menu for a dilettante (Because of the range of services I offered)
Love is a fire of flaming brandy (Now I feel a burning sensation)
Upon a crepe suzette (Whenever I go to the toilet)
Let’s get this romance cooking, honey (So cook up another batch of heroin, pal)
But let us not forget (I can’t feckin remember the seventies at all)

Life is a minestrone etc




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