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Decline And Fall

At the height of its power,  people used to say that all roads led to Rome and when you went there you had to do as the Romans did – that was the law of the land at the time, or ‘Fax Romania’ as it was known.

But then the Empire began to shrink, and slowly but surely it lost most of its possessions. Soon there was a small Western Empire run by a Constant Pope in Rome and another Eastern Empire run by a Constant Pole in Byzantium.

This worked fine for a while until, out of the East, a new and powerful tribe of barbarians emerged called ‘the Mongol Hordes’, who hated the Western Empire for no good reason, and ‘vice versa’, as they used to say in Rome at that time.

In desperation, an alliance was formed between the largest tribes living within the Western Empire, including former enemies such as the Romans, the Gauls, the Gaels, the Pokemons and even the Huns.

However the threat of the Mongol Hordes was such that it led to a lot of foreigners flooding into the Empire including Goths, Ostrogoths, Visigoths and Omigoths.

At first they were made welcome as people were finding it increasingly difficult to find someone to build an aqueduct or lay a mosaic for a reasonable price. But it wasn’t long before the true nature of the refugees was revealed. And a lot of bloody Vandals they were too honestly.

So the citizens of the declining Empire decided to hold a vote (or ‘referendum’ as they used to say in Rome) and the ‘plebs’ (as they used to call them) voted to send the ‘refugii’ (as they were known) back to where they came fromii. But of course that was impossible.

The power of Western Empire had effectively ended, although we can still see its influence today in the use of words like consensus crisis mayor boris faultis.


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